Diplock's Syndrome
For those of you who have not read my book on Wildcat
Cartridges, here is a little excerpt you might find amusing.
"Diplock’s
Syndrome," a
syndrome contracted by gunsmiths. The cause is close contact with clients
or customers who lack patience. Custom guns are hand made and require a
great many hours of work and attention from a highly trained professional.
Researchers have found that even the most patient and easy going gunsmith will
loose his sense of humor and become an old curmudgeon as a result of contracting
Diplock's Syndrome. Contributing factors appear to be phone calls, faxes,
letters, and emails asking, "Can you give me an update?" or "How
is my project coming along?" The reason such simple questions inflame
a case of "Diplock's Syndrome" seems to be that each client thinks he
is the only one making that inquiry when in reality he is among many.
If you would like to spare your
gunsmith the crippling effects of "Diplock's Syndrome" the best thing
you can do as a client is remember that gunsmiths do not make a living by
storing guns. They perform custom services that require time.
Remember that delivery times are estimated. Patience will help you to
receive the best possible quality of work, and your gunsmith will be much more
pleasant to deal with.
In an
article by Samuel Clark Jr. originally published in “Twenty-two Caliber
Varmint Rifles” by Charles Landis, 1945, Clark tells a story about shooting
accurate rifles and the good natured jabbing and poking that will inevitably
erupt among shooting buddies. Here
is an excerpt:
“The
writer (Clark) had often remarked how frequently it is that we read of rifles
capable of shooting into a minute of angle or
how often we hear of ¾” or even ½” groups shot from rest or a
machine rest at 100 yards, or 2” or less than 2” groups at 200 yards.
It has also been frequently noted that although shooting, as just
described, causes no great stir among the shooting fraternity, nevertheless,
such shooting even in the hands of well-known experimenters, equipped with the
most accurate rifles obtainable, has not been the rule on the range described
above—in fact far from it—actually, quite the contrary, and
if all groups fired by each individual shooter were averaged, the result
would indicate the progress along the lines of accuracy was a very dubious
matter indeed.
Among visitors to the range who had not neglected to observe this point, was
Clark’s good friend and genial shooting companion, John Diplock. In fact, Diplock had so often been disappointed when rifles
which were described as tack drivers failed to shoot in the vicinity of the
tack, let alone shooting group after group measuring 1” or under, that he had
lost a great deal of faith in the expressed opinions of his fellow man.
Another
illusion, which Diplock had learned to discount about 99%, was that of the
dependence that could be placed in the 5-shot groups as a test of accuracy.
The whole matter had been discussed from all possible angles and the
opinion was firmly held that a group of 10 shots fired from any rifle from bench
or machine rest at 100 yards, which measured 1” from center to center of
bullet holes farthest apart, was still a mighty fine group, and despite claims
to the contrary, that the rifle and rifleman, who could sit down and do such
shooting when the chips were down, with spectators present, and continue to do
it for 10 shot group after 10 shot group, just had not come along yet.
Diplock,
sensing an opportunity to turn the weekend into a payday, pounded his fist on
the loading bench and stated that he had listened to all this 1” talk he
wanted to, and he had seen all the selected groups he wanted to see, but what he
did want to see was a shooter who was man enough to demonstrate before witnesses
and with money on the board, what he could do about this 1” business...
Peeling a big bill off his roll, Diplock laid it on the loading bench and
announced that he had “had his say.”"
Why repeat all this here?
Well, for years gunsmith’s have had the reputation of being grumpy,
opinionated, old duffers. It is the author’s contention that the story above is a
good explanation for the attitudes displayed by many long time gunsmiths.
Professional gunsmiths are forced to endure amazing tales of accuracy,
and hunting prowess, most of which no 5 year old would believe.
After some exposure to such comments, stories, statements, anecdotes,
yarns, legends, and/or outright lies even the kindest heart will become hardened
to these tales. This hardened
condition the author has dubbed Diplock’s Syndrome.
By the way, Diplock lost his bet… nobody is perfect.
FDZ
Nasty business notes required here by clients who lack patience:
While we make every effort to set and meet delivery dates we do not control the
entire world, although my teenage son has a plan to take it over. We try
to spend more time in the shop and less time on the phone, so that you can have
your new toy back ASAP. Delivery dates should not be construed as a
guarantee. Some clients seem to think they are the sole residents of this
universe, and my son will handle them when he takes over. Anyway, if you
communicate with me in a kind and cordial manner you will gain my respect and
admiration, if you choose the other obvious route, you will not impress me or
your girlfriend/wife as she has you figured out already. In short,
remember what Momma said, "You catch more flies with honey than with
vinegar!"
Finally for those of you who want to have an excuse to say the words,
"My Lawyer said" I suggest that you just make those lines up
it's much cheaper. If you place an order with us and later decide that too
much time has passed, this is not a reason for calling a lawyer and by placing
an order with us you are agreeing that you will handle all costs for both
your lawyer and mine. By the way, I hire the best, if your going
to waste money I figure I should at least be sure to get the best guy to
represent me. The next time one of your buddies says, "Why are there
no good gunsmiths around here?" Just have him read this, it's a
pretty good clue.
